This one is dedicated to my wife, Megan, one of the earth’s greatest champions. Foreword: Several weeks ago, a bird built a nest on the wreath my wife and I keep on our front door, then laid five eggs. After what must be hundreds of hours of incubation, we now have a tiny baby bird … Continue reading Litterbug: An Earth Day Special
Comedy
The Collingswood Review: Maria’s Bread Sandwiches NJ Tomato Soup & Mushroom Grilled Cheese
I’m going to tell you something straight from the jump; this is not going to be a negative review. If you were hoping for one of my 0 out of 10 eviscerations, I hate to disappoint you, but this will not be one of those. Before I tell you that this soup and sandwich combination … Continue reading The Collingswood Review: Maria’s Bread Sandwiches NJ Tomato Soup & Mushroom Grilled Cheese
Loneliness
This feels like one of the occasions for which I should set the scene of my current writing environment. I’m on the roof of a house boat on a lake in central Pennsylvania, underneath the moon and stars. It’s about 5:30am and I’m accompanied by an iced coffee and a Peanut Butter Kandy Kake Tastykake … Continue reading Loneliness
Target – Expect Nothing. Pay Everything.
Let me begin by saying that I’m aware of my own insignificance in all of this. Target is worth tens of billions of dollars and I still roll my toothpaste tube to get every smear of my money’s worth from it. But that is what makes this so goddamn frustrating. Here’s the synopsis: I go … Continue reading Target – Expect Nothing. Pay Everything.
“Don’t be gay”
I’m back. It’s been a while. I have a kid now, blah blah, so forth and so on. About five years ago I wrote the following within my blog about Embracing White People Stuff: “The code,” as I perceived it, was mostly defined by situational micro-judgments by the hoodest hood guy present at the time … Continue reading “Don’t be gay”
Humbug: A child’s guide to convincing other children Santa is a hoax
I hear parenting is difficult, what with all the disciplining and mandatory attendance and whatnot. You’ve got a million things to consider and limited brain capacity with which to consider them. Well, I hear you and I’ve decided to offer a public service this Christmas to help lighten your load. Is your kid at about … Continue reading Humbug: A child’s guide to convincing other children Santa is a hoax
Review: Stretchy Denim
The people have spoken. During the first Instagram poll 42% of participants asked me to review stretchy denim, which lost out to a tale of petty revenge. The second resulted in 46% again wanting to hear my thoughts on pliable jeans, but being thwarted by those who preferred I review white chocolate. I know math … Continue reading Review: Stretchy Denim
Review: White Chocolate
Thanks for voting this in as the topic of this installment of True Jest and all that but I’ve got no patience for pleasantries today. Let’s do this. Counsel Bullock rises from the sturdy oak chair, re-positions the documents in front of him to perfect parallel alignment, then unconscionably tosses his ink pen haphazardly upon … Continue reading Review: White Chocolate
Gluttony: A story of wedded bliss and revenge
Y'all petty. Thanks to all who participated in the Instagram poll to choose this topic. I’m delighted that you’re so interested in petty revenge. And now, our feature presentation. We did it! Over one full year into marriage and I feel as lucky as the day my (then) fiance said “yes!” I can still feel … Continue reading Gluttony: A story of wedded bliss and revenge
Letting people in
I know what you think of me. You've read a couple of my blogs already and you’re still in tears with laughter. You think to yourself: “Golly! This guy really knows the score. He’s sharp and witty. He’s probably a delight to be around and, if I had to guess, just a gorgeous sculpture of … Continue reading Letting people in
True Jest 