Let me begin by saying that I’m aware of my own insignificance in all of this. Target is worth tens of billions of dollars and I still roll my toothpaste tube to get every smear of my money’s worth from it. But that is what makes this so goddamn frustrating. Here’s the synopsis: I go … Continue reading Target – Expect Nothing. Pay Everything.
“Don’t be gay”
I’m back. It’s been a while. I have a kid now, blah blah, so forth and so on. About five years ago I wrote the following within my blog about Embracing White People Stuff: “The code,” as I perceived it, was mostly defined by situational micro-judgments by the hoodest hood guy present at the time … Continue reading “Don’t be gay”
God or Science
If you follow me on social media you may have seen me call upon “God or Science” to help me understand/explain the order of things and that may have made you wonder if my intentions were to disrespect religion. They were not. The truth is, I’m agnostic. If you’re not familiar with that term, it … Continue reading God or Science
Review (in progress): Fatherhood Pt. 2
I’m just over a year into this crazy venture and already the newsworthy milestones grow farther apart. Ivy’s 13 month mark came and went with little fanfare. Subsequent baby teeth just don’t seem to emerge with the same pizzazz as the first one or two. The milestones that do make the grade, though, really shake … Continue reading Review (in progress): Fatherhood Pt. 2
Review (in progress): Fatherhood
Eleven months. It’s been eleven months since my daughter was born. Eleven months is the answer to the question: “how long did it take before you felt like you could devote brain power to something other than raising your kid and working?” I am not, however, going to do my typical post-hiatus, overly-elaborate, self-indulgent setting … Continue reading Review (in progress): Fatherhood
Bizarre Kingdom: An Entirely Fictional Halloween Special
Ormund Plandt was a nobody. Just the night before, he’d laid his head on his nothing pillow, in his unremarkable bedroom, in his crappy house, on the corner of Mundane Ave and Nowhere Ln. This morning, however, he was decidedly somewhere and someone else. Outside his window, where the morning prior he’d observed the usual … Continue reading Bizarre Kingdom: An Entirely Fictional Halloween Special
Why you shouldn’t vote
Allow me to be crystal clear about my personal opinion: EVERYONE WHO IS ELIGIBLE TO VOTE SHOULD VOTE. Vote early, Vote in person, if you can. If you can’t vote in person, mail in your ballot and your vote will be counted – just don’t wait until the last minute. If you have trouble following … Continue reading Why you shouldn’t vote
Racism is Irrational
Racism is terrible. I’m not sure where exactly to start this blog, but that feels pretty solid. If we don’t see eye to eye on that platform, you better buckle in or jump out. Now, obviously, racism takes on many forms, but for the purposes of this discussion, I’m focusing mainly on racism by white … Continue reading Racism is Irrational
Welcome to Scotland: My personal journey to Peatopia
A word of caution: If you struggle with alcohol addiction or are in recovery, the contents of the blog below may be a trigger for you. Please use your best discretion. I love scotch. If you’re like me, reading that sentence conjured images of Ron Burgundy singing his famous jingle. I couldn’t relate when I … Continue reading Welcome to Scotland: My personal journey to Peatopia
The roof is on fire: Why there’s no real debate on climate change
Let me just get this out of the way right now – I am not a climate change expert. I’m an expert on ice cream sandwiches and Seinfeld and awkward conversations and using the word “and” for dramatic effect when I should clearly be using a comma. That’s my journey. My wife, Megan Maltenfort, actually … Continue reading The roof is on fire: Why there’s no real debate on climate change
True Jest 