Some guys have that effortless way about them. You know what dudes I’m talking about – the type whose presence you sense as soon as he enters the room. Somehow, he already has a drink in his hand even though he just got there – some dope shit that’s probably not on the menu. In … Continue reading When you ask her out and she says “no.”

I’m bad with faces and names. Typically, you’ll hear folks admit to being deficient with one and excelling in the other. Not me. If you’ve just introduced yourself, I have absolutely no idea what your name is, three words into your next sentence. None. If you turn around in a circle, that’s like you just … Continue reading When they recognize you but you don’t recognize them

The word “no” has a bad reputation. I get it; it’s inherently negative. “No” is literally the epitome of the negative response. “No” is prohibitive and exclusionary and saturated by the weighty remnants of our bigoted past – a resurgent past, no less, if a past at all. Socially, the connotation is present, especially, in … Continue reading The art of “no”

Our species is one obsessed with language; obsessed with the story behind the façade. We rummage the worn, cast-away chests time has left behind, searching in vain for the trailing edge of antiquity. We search for stories which predate the written word, digging and chiseling for ancient artifacts to unearth the “whys” of our existence. … Continue reading Crafting the perfect text message

Close your eyes. Today is your birthday. You’re at your favorite restaurant, compliments of your lover. You’re on the patio. The air is light and temperate, carrying the gentle notes of woodwinds – is that an ocarina flautist off in the distance? You can’t be sure. You just ordered the biggest steak (or Portobello cap) … Continue reading Review: Frisee Salad

Who the hell makes a sequel to a one-page blog about not knowing how to make friends?... Someone who schedules time to avoid human contact, that’s who. It’s your fault, really. The first ‘making friends’ post was probably my most viewed blog yet, and definitely the one I've received the most feedback about. It was … Continue reading Making new friends as an adult (The Sequel)

There comes a point in every person’s life when it dawns on you: “when it’s all said and done, this is who I am” – when you allow yourself to imagine a version of you, stripped of your present identifiers, and realize that you’re not always going to have a career or good looks or … Continue reading Discovering the old person you’re destined to be

Full disclosure: I don’t know who coined the phrase: “awkward silence” but I know he never shuts d’fuck up. I’ve got some ill shit to drop on y’all. Ready?... Silence can’t be awkward. Silence is the goal of silence; YOU are making it awkward. Small talk is the product of your own nervous energy and … Continue reading Small Talk vs. Silence

Many of you have just shifted in your seats at the sight of this title. Go on and take a second to unpucker your assholes; this isn’t going to get any less uncomfortable. Alternatively, you may choose to abort this edition of Truth in Jest. I’ll wait… They gone? Ok, cool. It’s 2016; why am … Continue reading You can’t say “nigger.”