“Did you clean your butt?” I asked. “Yes, daddy,” my daughter (Ivy) said, not even attempting to contain her chuckling. “Did you clean your bits?” I asked. “Yes, daddy,” she said, the traces of her smile still apparent in her voice. “Did you wash your hair?” I followed up. “Yes, dad! I did everything!” She … Continue reading Review (in progress): Fatherhood Pt. 7
Lifestyle
Review (in progress): Fatherhood Pt. 6
Mile-marking: Ivy is 4.75 years old. She’s approaching 60lbs and is as long as train smoke. She is shedding the car seat in favor of a booster seat. Her favorite song is anything from KPop Demon Hunters, but especially ‘Your Idol’ by the demon fellas. She has finally joined the ranks of peanut butter and … Continue reading Review (in progress): Fatherhood Pt. 6
Mental health advice from some random guy
After all of the subjects that I’ve tackled in this blog, I’ve finally been defeated. I managed to find humor in everything from cilantro to racism (or at least they were funny to me). But this one is decidedly and almost completely un-funny. I kept writing and writing, figuring that the humor would come organically … Continue reading Mental health advice from some random guy
Review (in progress): Fatherhood Pt. 5
Status update: Ivy is almost 4 years old. She is almost 4 feet tall and refuses to stop growing. There came a point during this past year when we virtually stopped using a stroller but I can’t pinpoint when exactly that was. She loves dresses, strobe light dance parties, mac and cheese, and riveting conversation, … Continue reading Review (in progress): Fatherhood Pt. 5
Litterbug: An Earth Day Special
This one is dedicated to my wife, Megan, one of the earth’s greatest champions. Foreword: Several weeks ago, a bird built a nest on the wreath my wife and I keep on our front door, then laid five eggs. After what must be hundreds of hours of incubation, we now have a tiny baby bird … Continue reading Litterbug: An Earth Day Special
“Don’t be gay”
I’m back. It’s been a while. I have a kid now, blah blah, so forth and so on. About five years ago I wrote the following within my blog about Embracing White People Stuff: “The code,” as I perceived it, was mostly defined by situational micro-judgments by the hoodest hood guy present at the time … Continue reading “Don’t be gay”
Welcome to Scotland: My personal journey to Peatopia
A word of caution: If you struggle with alcohol addiction or are in recovery, the contents of the blog below may be a trigger for you. Please use your best discretion. I love scotch. If you’re like me, reading that sentence conjured images of Ron Burgundy singing his famous jingle. I couldn’t relate when I … Continue reading Welcome to Scotland: My personal journey to Peatopia
Stop being late to things
Several years ago, when I wasn’t quite sure of my identity as a writer, I posted an article about people being late all the time. In retrospect, it may have been overly harsh and could’ve hurt the feelings of some of the people I hold dear. Now, having the benefit of some much-needed self-discovery, I … Continue reading Stop being late to things
Keys to being a straight, single man
My fiancé is the best. She truly makes my life exponentially better; so when I tell you that locking that up for the rest of my life is the best decision I’ve ever made, I say so with complete confidence. However, a short time ago I was just like you – lost in the world, … Continue reading Keys to being a straight, single man
Making new friends as an adult
Some people enter every social situation like it’s a private party in their honor. For example, when my fiancé, Megan, or my brother, Bjorn, enter a room of strangers, they do so with gravitas and with purpose – scanning to determine in what order they will systematically speak to every goddamn person. I, on the … Continue reading Making new friends as an adult
True Jest 