Many of you have just shifted in your seats at the sight of this title. Go on and take a second to unpucker your assholes; this isn’t going to get any less uncomfortable. Alternatively, you may choose to abort this edition of Truth in Jest. I’ll wait… They gone? Ok, cool. It’s 2016; why am … Continue reading You can’t say “nigger.”
Love to hate: Ivan Drago
Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t seen Rocky IV, please keep reading. The spoiler statute is void after 30 years. Watch the movie and make better life decisions from here on out, K? Now… say what you will, but Ivan Drago is unquestionably in the conversation for top five movie villains of all time. He made … Continue reading Love to hate: Ivan Drago
Being taller than most
Consider the wording here: “taller than most” – not “gigantic” or “freakishly tall” or even “uncommonly tall.” Granted: at 6’5” I’m a very tall person… but that’s it. Very tall. Next topic please. No, I would not like to field six or seven more variants of the “how tall are you” question, thank you. No, … Continue reading Being taller than most
Review: Cilantro
No. Thank. You. Wait… let me back up to provide some historical context. Records of the usage and cultivation of cilantro date back to a time pre-Ancient Egypt but it was first brought to the British colonies of North America in the mid-1600s. Relatively large-scale commercial cultivation of cilantro coincided with the increasing popularity of … Continue reading Review: Cilantro
Precious children
Goddamn children. Insufferable children. Sometimes I wonder: “I used to be their age… Was I ever this terrible?” No – no I wasn’t. Sure, as young bosses my big brother, RJ, and I concocted our due share of tumult, but we always maintained an internal barometer for “ok you’re just being an asshole now” which … Continue reading Precious children
Review: Ice Cream Sandwiches
The ice cream sandwich: simple perfection. Invented in the 1960’s by noted Atlantic City treatsmith Tiberius “Scoops” Barnett, who pondered: “Tis wafer less noble a vessel? Tisn’t rectangle as worthy a shape?” Dissatisfied with the current progress in ice cream technologies, Scoops sought to take a bold step forward. Ever the opportunist, and somewhat the … Continue reading Review: Ice Cream Sandwiches
Walking behind old people
Firstly, bitch, thank you for tuning in to my pilot TIJ blog post and for allowing me to live out my lifelong dream of beginning a publication with “Firstly bitch.” Sassy black girl aspirations aside; my sincerest thanks to those of you who’ve laughed with and at me, thus granting the inspiration and confidence to … Continue reading Walking behind old people
True Jest 